Still here, safe and sound, more sound than safe! 😉
Today is the 11th day of quarantine and I had in mind of writing this article since… ever?, well at least from the beginning of this umteenth forced stop during the last 3 years.
Francesco and I have tested positive for Covid-19 and we are isolating at home, luckily enough with some mild symptoms only (thanks to the vaccines we both had).
How is the self-lockdown going? Well: Am I driving crazy? Yes. Am I losing my mind? Also yes, actually… have I ever had one? Jokes aside, we are both fine but I personally am a bit overwhelmed by this involuntary stop.
In these last 10ish days, beside a couple of productive things, I only managed to do what I am best at: overthinking and procrastinating.
Before being tested positive, I did quite a lot of check-ups and everything is going well.
My body is behaving and everything seems to be under control, even if my mind plays some tricks on me. Working, exercising, going out, having friends over was keeping me distracted but the imposed isolation is forcing me to face some specific issues…
I have been feeling more anxious and worried lately, and so many things are triggering me.
For example, waiting for an easy peasy routine abdomen ultrasound, I surprisingly found myself shaking a bit more than waiting for my trimestral oncological talk with my doctor. And the same goes for the catastrophic feeling I have waiting for my official extension of medical certificate, to justify the absence from work.
While randomly overthinking, I thought about one of the many communication courses I did when I was younger (much younger T_T).
During one of these training days, there was an exercise which had to be performed in couples: you had to talk with the other person, asking questions about memories of past travels, while writing down the adjectives they were using to describe the events, and categorizing these adjectives according to the sense they were referring to the most.
In normal conditions we generally use all of the senses, but we appear to have a specific one that is the most capable of triggering memories in both good and bad ways.
I always thought to have a prevalent sense of smell (also due to the big tool I have got: my nose), and in a world like “The mirror visitor” I would have been part of one of the olfactory family of Babel; to my surprise, I realized that I have more of the “acoustics” families feature than I would have thought instead.
Thank God, my sense of taste is not so developed as in the book “The Particular Sadness of the Lemon Cake”, and I can eat without having a trip down the memory lane most of the time.
If I think of events in my past, of any kind, what really brings me back to a specific instant is the sound. When I think about travels, important moments or whatsoever, the strongest feelings that belong to that fragment are: sounds, music, voices, just as much as silence.
Of course I do remember images, tastes, smells and feelings too, but the majority and above all the most indelible of my memories are acoustic. And the same goes for the triggers.
It doesn’t surprise me that I am so obsessed with music and concerts, as these are two of the things that make me feel alive.
Two of my favourite sounds are:
1. The sound fingers make on a guitar, as the fingertips slither on the strings to reach for the position from one chord to the other.
2 The drums sound during a live concert, when you can feel it banging in your chest.
All of the above to say what?
That the majority of triggers I reckon are also connected to some kind of sound and noise.
Some few examples are:
- medical waiting rooms: people whispering, the ringing of the office phone in the background, footsteps noise in the corridor.
- dentist: the drill buzzing.
- ecography room: the clicking sound to capture screenshots on the machine, the wet noises of the ultrasound gel as it gets squeezed out of its container.
- Hospital: the buzzer of the waiting list numbers changing, the sound of doors opening, footsteps noise in the corridor, footsteps approaching, paper folders opening, printing sounds.
Beside these, of course, there are many other sensorial triggers that can affect me, like the disinfecting gel smell, the taste of specific medicines, foods and drinks, and many other peculiar sensations – yet, I find the acoustic ones the strongest.
Now that I know it, is there something I can do about it? Not really 😉
Have you ever thought about it? If you think about events in your past, which adjectives are you using the most to describe them? What is your strongest sense?
If you want to let me know email me at info@glamorizethechaos.com or comment under my post on Instagram or Facebook. <3