One of the best known side effects of chemotherapy is hair loss.
The probability of this effect occurring varies according to the medications used, type of therapy and cycles; however, in most cases, it is very likely to happen.
At the time of diagnosys my hair was very long, well beyond shoulder length.
During the last days of visits and while defining the final details of the therapies, I decided to try various colors and to make a pixie haircut with a shaved side.
I chose this haircut because I might not have had the courage to do it in normal conditions, but also to have a first approach with a part of the head almost without hair, in order to get slowly used to the bald version of myself.
With the new haircut, I continued to play with different hair colors until the first therapy, then I took contacts with a wig shop in Hamburg, recommended to me by the nurse in my oncology department.
The wig shop offered very good support, both on practical and emotional sides.
During our first meeting, they explained to me the differences between various types of wigs and made me try different hairstyles and colors.
It is important to go when you still have your own hair because, if you want, you can have a custom wig made to imitate your current look: if “not noticing the difference” between your natural hair and the wig is a priority, the results truly are outstanding!
However, it was not my interest to replicate my current style, having changed color and haircuts countless times: to that point, losing my hair didn’t scare me at all, far from it! I was thrilled by the idea of being able to choose from an infinite number of options!
I identified my ideal cut almost immediately, but as I couldn’t decide on the color, the store staff was so nice to order the model I chose in a range of different available colors, and I found the right one!
I got a fiery red, recommended by my “support team”, because according to them, with the red wig they saw a sparkle in my eyes.
My hair began to fall out about 12 days after the first therapy.
On the thirteenth day, as soon as I woke up, I noticed an important amount of hair on the pillow, and as I ran a hand through my hair, a lock came off cleanly.
I sat on the bathroom floor, desperately cried for a while, until I said to myself: “Come on and pluck up the courage! You knew it would happen. Let’s be practical: tomorrow you have the second therapy, you cannot afford to think about the hair, you cannot manage whole locks falling to the floor, leaving hair everywhere, both because you will not have the physical strength to clean the mess up, and on the emotional side… seeing yourself in a “Gollum” version with three long hairs and bald spots on your head will not help neither!”.
I took my phone and called the wig shop, they told me to go there in the morning as they could take care of the shaving.
I woke up Fra who was still sleeping and asked him to come with me.
We documented everything and later at home, I decided to play down with a “Stranger Things” moment by cosplaying Eleven 😉
On the following days I started to wear the wig, and I also started buying others of various colors on Amazon and on other websites, at obviously lower prices than the “official” one.
The one I am most fond of is the pink wig, companion of the most positive days: walks in the park, going out, the Bastille’s concert in Hamburg, the Strokes’ in Berlin, and in general on days when my morale was higher: it is probably for this reason I look at it with affection.
The red wig, the “official” one, I started wearing it from the very beginning and it was the companion of the most difficult moments of the therapies, before, during and after the surgery, and in general on every occasion of various and possible medical visits and checks.
A few weeks ago I tried to wear both the pink and the red one again.
The pink one made me smile, while the red one triggered an unpleasant moment of PTSD.
Back to the “post Eleven”, despite my shaving, my nicknamed “capellini” kept on falling more and more in the shower day after day, and this confirmed my decision, as I couldn’t emotionally manage to see long hair fall little by little, or even worse, lock after lock.
In “full moon” head mode, after thinking I had a wig rash for about a week, my mom remembered that I actually had a birthmark called “stork bite” at birth which after 30 years of flowing hair had gone into oblivion…
See, you can rediscover things on your head that you didn’t know or didn’t remember knowing 😉
A photo to document everything as now it is again hidden by a “pile” of hair!
During the second cycle of therapies, the weekly ones, the hair gradually returned to grow until it became the current indomitable mass with hair regrowth to which I will soon have to find a solution.
As you can see, they already are showing signs of regrowth, because my poor hair did not even have the time to return, that I was already thinking about how to dye it.
However, without hair, life is not that bad! After the initial shock I got to cope with it, and while on the first days I always wore a wig, I then discovered the magic and comfort of pre-shaped cotton turbans – very comfortable and with their own stylistic reasons 😉 In the end, during the therapies, it was very comfortable to be able to take a shower in 5 minutes: no shampoo, conditioner, masks and above all no hair dryer!
To sum it up, to those who find themselves at the beginning of this path, I would like to recommend:
1 – Find a wig shop for the “official wig”
Useful as a support, to try various solutions and to help when the hair starts to fall out
2 – Be wild: Try weird haircut and colors
Why? Because! It is a difficult and hard time without the need for further negative vibes. Soon your hair will be gone, so what about trying things that in normal situations you might not even have considered?
3 – Shaving today is better than “Gollum” tomorrow
As soon as your hair starts to fall out: get your head shaved!
From then on, your hair will not improve, but it will grow back with time and patience. Seeing hairs fall one by one will only make you feel worse.
4 – Loads of wigs and turbans for every occasion
Why? Same reason as for the “Be wild” point: Because! Why not? Have fun changing your own style and apparel. One for every occasion!
5 – Turbans: a way of life
Finding comfortable and practical ones is really important. Wigs are beautiful – duh! – but only for “important occasions”; for all other circumstances turbans are the best option, or even better, just rock your bald head in this new “Mr. Clean” style!
